When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
