I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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