Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize