Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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