I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
