no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I smell stomach acid.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
