I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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