I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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