Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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