I need help removing her.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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