That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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