Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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