think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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