I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
