my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
