We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Are my feet made of real feet?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
