im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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