All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
