We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
