If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
