I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
