just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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