You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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