I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I checked into jail on foursquare
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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