Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
