wanna go halves on a baby?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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