Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so explain again why im purple
no
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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