So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
