i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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