dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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