i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize