I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize