I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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