i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
