I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
