Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
