I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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