Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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