I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
