What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
