Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
