I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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