Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
