butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
