Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
