Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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