hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
