he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
