I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
