I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
