I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
