So drunk its hurt
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
