At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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