We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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