I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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