I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
