I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Enjoy the penises
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
