After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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