there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
