What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What a dumb baby whore.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
